I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
