Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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