Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
