grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is Oprah even human
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
