playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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