once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
