Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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