it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
