Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
