Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
