"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
