So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Randomize
