I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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