hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
