I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
