i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
