Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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