he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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