do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
