that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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