you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
