My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
