I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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