I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
