you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
