I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
