YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
