I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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