she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
