I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize