Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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