; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
