shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
