Its about making memories worth repressing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
