garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish I only lived at night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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