I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So squirting runs in the family.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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