I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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