did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
