Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
