just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
