God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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