dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There r osticjed everywhere
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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