I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Panties = found
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