i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
