Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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