You're my little dorito
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
