trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm like, not good at living.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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