TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
