Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
