Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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