last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
