I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
