i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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