I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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