At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it glows. i had to have it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
