You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
