so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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